I decided to get Lasik this year and even though I think I am not quite at 20/20 vision the experience has been life changing.  It’s amazing how often we take for granted basic things like vision. 

One of the things that I am learning is how hard it can be to break a habit.  I have worn contacts for the better part of 20 years.  I am so conditioned to take them out and put them in that even though I know I don’t have them in I have to fight the urge every night to take them out.  In the mornings when I wake up, I still reach for my glasses.  Technically it’s only been a week and I shouldn’t expect to undo 20 years of conditioning overnight.

Over the past week though I am learning that I need to be a little more patient with myself as I am trying to give up some of my bad habits.  I set some goals for this year and I already broke one of them.  Instead of beating myself I am learning to accept the fact that even though I haven’t been perfect I did meet my goal half the time.  That’s 50% better than I did just a few weeks prior.

Habit changes rarely happen overnight, even though we’d like them to.  Sometimes we build habits over the course of many years and even though it won’t take that long to undo them it will take some time.  Congratulate yourself for the times that went well and forgive yourself for the times that don’t.

Confession

Sometimes I don’t write down my goals because I am afraid I will fail and if they are only in my head then by some crazy logic that makes it better.  I also feel like this makes me a giant hypocrite. I always tell the folks in my challenge groups to write down their goals because I know that will help them be more accountable.

Some days I question my goals and ask myself if I really want to do the work required for that goal.  It’s easy to say you want the end result of something; lose weight, save money, etc.  The hard part is actually doing the things that will get you there.  I have started to reflect on my goals a bit and really challenged myself on what sacrifices I am will to make to achieve those goals.  For at least one of my goals I decided that giving up what was preventing me from achieving it just wasn’t really feasible.  Actually it is absolutely feasible; I just don’t want to.  Because I took the step to acknowledge that I don’t really want to make the sacrifice I need to stop betting myself up about not achieving the goal.  I haven’t totally given up on it, but I did move it to the re-examine at a later date list.

Comparison is the death of all great goals.  I have seen and caught myself doing this.  You think you’re not totally crushing your goal like your friend is and you think maybe that goal just isn’t for you.  If you ever find yourself in that situation it’s time to go back and evaluate both your “Why” and your willingness to make sacrifices and put in the work it takes.  Often times we only see the outcome of people’s success.  We rarely see the hard work, late nights, rejections, and hardships they have had to overcome.  In the rare instance that something is coming “easy” to that person just wait and see what happens when they come across an obstacle.

The one thing though I try really hard not to do is give up completely when I miss an interim milestone for a particular goal.  I had a silly life goal to never be stung by a bee.  I successfully made it to my senior year in high school before getting stung.  I remember sitting in class feeling something on the back of my arm.  Thinking it was a fly I went to brush it off and somehow ended up grabbing it resulting in getting stung on the thumb.  I ended up throwing it on the floor and stepping on it because it obviously deserved it for ruining one of my life goals.  I am now in my thirties and can proudly say that is the only time I have ever been stung.  The day of the bee sting I did not think to myself…well that goal is ruined so I probably should become a bee keeper.  It’s funny to think or say that because it is such a trivial matter, but why do when we have a whole carton of ice cream instead of just a bowl or impulse buy that cute top when we are trying to save up for a new car do we just totally give up?  We still have the goal, we just hit a bump along the road.  I will go back to my first point though.  If you are continuously failing at the same thing it is time to really question whether you want to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve that goal.  If you just had a bad day though, shake it off and start over tomorrow.  Acknowledge the fact that you got a temporary rush, embrace it, love it and then let it go.  If you stay in the guilt it will consume you and you will have a significantly harder time moving forward.

I’ll like to end this by saying tonight I am going to write down some goals and start moving towards them, but honestly that’s not realistic because I have some stuff going on.  Tomorrow though I have more time.  So if you are reading this and want to call me out on writing down my goals I’d love to get that level of accountability.  If you want to send me a message once a week asking me what progress I’ve made that would be great.  If you want me to do the same for you let me know.

I heard this statement recently and it made me stop and think for a bit.  I have been all about mindset for as long as I can remember.  While I still believe that mindset plays a crucial role in achieving your goals, thinking about them doesn’t necessarily guarantee success.  I don’t know how many times I’ve thought I really want abs, but end up eating doughnuts and drinking wine instead (not typically in the same sitting).  I think that I want them, but then the instant gratification of something sweet takes over and I tell myself it’s ok because I worked out that morning or I had a healthy lunch.  My healthy mindset is there, but then it just seems easier to give in and try tomorrow.

I also had a friend once in college whose girlfriend at the time bought him a whole bunch of awesome birthday presents.  When he got his credit card bill the following month he found out she used his money to buy them.  Her response, “It’s the thought that counts right” ….Umm no, sorry it’s not.

Today and this week for me is about taking action.  It’s about saying no to those little temptations and yes to the things I really want.  Most importantly it’s making a decision and getting out of my own head.