Being a working mom feels like the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. If I think hard enough there are a few things that come in a close second, but most of the time I feel like I am at the brink of a breakdown. I really wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future to help me know if I am making the right decisions. I think the working mom vs stay at home mom debate is almost as polar as the two political parties. I chose the working mom path because to me the pro’s outweighed the con’s.
This morning I got the luxury of ‘almost’ just worrying about getting myself out the door. I say almost because about 10 minutes after I got out of bed, after almost falling back asleep, I had to lay down and get the baby back to sleep. This put me behind schedule and that compounded with the fact that I didn’t want to do my workout this morning so I chose to productively procrastinate almost made me on time, when I should have been almost a half hour early. I’ll be the first to admit that I shouldn’t have worried about the dishes this morning, but in the back of my mind I knew if I didn’t do them this morning than more than likely I’d have an even bigger mess this afternoon.
For the most part I like what I do. Unfortunately it typically consists of battling one problem after another leaving me mentally exhausted by time I leave. Before kids this wasn’t a big deal because I could stay as late as I needed to then go home and crash on the couch. Now most days I pick them up, battle the baby to get her into her car seat and go home only to unload everything I needed for the day and pack new stuff for the next day all while feeling guilty about not playing with my toddler and thinking that if dinner doesn’t get started soon she could go from happy to hangry in the next hour or so.
I’ve seriously debated hiring some help. It would be amazing to come home to a clean house and dinner ready every day. I have also debated just accepting it as it is knowing that in only a few short years’ things will be different. One of my favorite sayings is “The days are long, but the years are short” so I know eventually it’ll pass, but holy cow are those days long.
I am not looking for encouragement, sympathy, or support necessarily. I just needed to vent in hopes of letting some of this anxiety go. If you are going through something similar just know that you are not alone. If you need to chat, just send me an email or message.
Leave a Reply