Boss of my Life

Hi my name is Amy and I am a recovering perfectionist with a fixed mindset.  After listening to a handful of different personal development books and not only being in denial of my perfectionism but also justifying it I am coming to grasp with how it is holding me back.  I used to wear “doing it all” as a badge of honor.  I heard everyone tell me that I’d get burnt out, but I didn’t want to listen.  I have super high expectations for myself and for everyone around me.  I have always been told I am smart.  I got so comfortable with the idea that I was smart that I stopped trying anything that might jeopardize this part of my identity.  I quit when things get hard.  Sometimes I lie to myself and tell myself that I could do something if I REALLY wanted to.  Of course, I never really try because I might ruin the illusion, I have of myself.  I also don’t try things unless I know I am going to succeed. Sometimes I will step out of my comfort zone with this. 

Recently I signed up to become a certified personal trainer.  I thought this would be a piece of cake since I was already passionate about health and fitness.  Holy shit was I wrong.  I am pretty sure I have failed every practice quiz, usually right after reading the material.  I still need to print a schedule to see how far (if at all) I am with my studying.  I have started to get my home gym set up with mats for my girls to play when I work out.  I’d love to host small classes down there, but the fear of people not wanting to show up is already setting in.  A few times I have debated about just giving up.  It’s safer to not try then to try and fail.

I am determined to break my pattern though.  I know how much I struggle with being perfect and judging my ability based on what I’ve done instead of my effort.  I try so hard not to reward my daughter’s accomplishments but instead to reward her efforts.  So far it sounds pretty awkward to say great job for trying.  I keep trying to find something that sounds more natural and I am sure I’ll figure it out eventually.

I still have high expectations and attempt to get it all done, but instead of beating myself up I am going to get better at letting things go.  The dishes might not get done every day, laundry will pile up and socks and underwear will never get put away, I am going to make mistakes, life is going to get in the way, but at the end of the day I am going to keep trying.  Any step forward is better than not taking a step at all.

PS – I debated not making this post public until I had time to edit it (and make it perfect)  You know what, screw it.  If you have any questions or want more information on perfectionism or a fixed vs growth mindset shoot me an email 😊

I have been stewing on this topic for awhile now.  I hate most diets.  Do they work? Yes.  Are they typically healthy and sustainable?  Nope.  I actually asked someone if the potential long-term consequences of their “diet” was worth the short-term benefit.  They said yes?!  Seriously?!  As someone who is passionate about health and fitness I am just floored by this response.  I am also a little sadden by it.  As a country we spend millions of dollars on diets that don’t last, while over half the population is either overweight or obese.  Something just doesn’t seem to make sense.

I had a little Ah Ha moment while listening to a book on minimalism yesterday.  As a society we care more about how we look then how we feel.  We care more about how we look to others at the expense of our mental and financial wellbeing.  One might make the argument that spending money on clothes, makeup, etc makes us feel better.  Does it really, though?  If it did, why do we continually feel the need to buy more and more?

Back to my rant on diets, I get the feeling that people care more about how they look verses being healthy.  The kicker is that if we are healthy we look good.  Seems simple enough right?  So why is it so hard to make the commitment to change?  Sometimes we make the commitment then the first time we “mess up” we decide the whole thing isn’t worth it so we just give up.  If you had a stack of one hundred $1 bills, would you throw them all away just because one got ripped? Hell no. 

Living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing.  For me living a healthy lifestyle means making choice to incorporate healthy things or activities into my life.  My meals typically are decided by which vegetable I want to eat, then what protein and healthy carbs do I want with it.  I love exercising too, but if I don’t get it in first thing in the morning it wouldn’t get done.  I still love eating pizza and burgers and I love wine.  Most of the time, when I decide to have these things, I opt for a veggie side and drink a big glass of water first.  I am not perfect by any means and still have some room for improvement.

The first thing most people think when they are on a diet is what they can’t have or how much they must exercise. It‘s almost like a punishment.  You go on a super restrictive diet, lose a bunch of weight, feel deprived, go off the diet, then gain all the weight back.  I am guilty of this at times too, but the difference for me is that by living a mostly healthy lifestyle, slipping up on occasion doesn’t totally throw me off track.

If you are a hard core dieter or have had easy, short term success in the past I doubt I’ll change your mind, but I would like you to consider the amazing benefits that living a healthy lifestyle has to offer.

See more information here. Losing Weight: Lifestyle Changes Trump Any Diet